_ Couple Counseling
As a couple counselor I am a mediator.
Everyone who comes to couple counseling brings a large bag of unsaid hurts. Often people have been yelling so loudly they can literally no longer hear each other. In couple counseling a part of my job is to make sure each person is heard more and that each person learns to listen better.
Mediators listen very carefully for nuances in what people are saying beneath the words. In couple counseling I help each member of the couple to see those same things within their communications.
Mediators also provide safety. I am here to be sure it stays emotionally safe, so that people can risk being honest with each other. People always know in their gut when things are becoming emotionally threatening. It is my job to be the first person in the room to feel that and to change the dynamic.
The best possible outcome from our sessions is that both members of the couple learn much more about what makes each of them tick, is able to reconnect with the qualities that brought them into this committed relationship in the beginning, and decide to stay together.
There is another possible “success”. The couple decides one or both of them doesn’t want to continue working on the relationship, and they agree to part.
Even though this is a great disappointment, couples who come to this conclusion while working in couple counseling, emerge with two large positives in their lives:
First, they have gained insights about themselves in relationship that will help them in every future relationship.
Secondly, they are able to end their relationship as mature adults. This is an achievement to be proud of. Especially so because children, family and friends are all greatly impacted by a couple they love breaking up.
As a couple counselor I am a mediator.
Everyone who comes to couple counseling brings a large bag of unsaid hurts. Often people have been yelling so loudly they can literally no longer hear each other. In couple counseling a part of my job is to make sure each person is heard more and that each person learns to listen better.
Mediators listen very carefully for nuances in what people are saying beneath the words. In couple counseling I help each member of the couple to see those same things within their communications.
Mediators also provide safety. I am here to be sure it stays emotionally safe, so that people can risk being honest with each other. People always know in their gut when things are becoming emotionally threatening. It is my job to be the first person in the room to feel that and to change the dynamic.
The best possible outcome from our sessions is that both members of the couple learn much more about what makes each of them tick, is able to reconnect with the qualities that brought them into this committed relationship in the beginning, and decide to stay together.
There is another possible “success”. The couple decides one or both of them doesn’t want to continue working on the relationship, and they agree to part.
Even though this is a great disappointment, couples who come to this conclusion while working in couple counseling, emerge with two large positives in their lives:
First, they have gained insights about themselves in relationship that will help them in every future relationship.
Secondly, they are able to end their relationship as mature adults. This is an achievement to be proud of. Especially so because children, family and friends are all greatly impacted by a couple they love breaking up.
